One of the joys of joys of getting prayer requests each week is that sometimes I get to pray for y’all’s senses of humor… Some of the jokes that are on the backs of the communication cards are, well, bad. Others of them are pretty good! I carry these jokes around in my pocket because I can’t think of something better to do with them.
I thought it was rude of me to not share these jokes with everyone else, so here is a list of the jokes from the back of the communication cards from 2018! (I hope you enjoy!)
What drink makes you go “OUCH”?
What did the carrot hope for on its vacation?
– peas and quiet.
What allergy makes horses sneeze?
Why did the tree travel to its hometown?
-it was looking for its roots.
Why did the forgetful chicken cross the road?
-to get to the other side -er no- to go shopping -no, not that either- I forgot.
Why did the calf cross the road?
-to get to the udder side.
Why did the gum cross the road?
-Because it was stuck on the bottom of your shoe.
Why did the ants dance of a jam jar?
-it said on the lid, “twist to open.”
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
-i don’t know, but its flag is a big plus!
Once a dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving behind little messages.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
-he just needed a little space.
What did Noah use of the Ark to help him see at night?
How did the cold spread?
What do trees use to take notes in school?
Why did the cow stay home with a cold?
-she was milking it for all its worth.
What’s a nose’s favorite color?
What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
-a rocket chip!
Why did the student eat his homework?
-his teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
-because he felt crummy.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
-no idea. (No eye deer.)
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
-still no idea.
Why did the chef get in trouble?
-he got caught beating the eggs and whipping the cream.
How much did the pirate pay for his hook and peg keg?
-an arm and a leg.
How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
What did the dad buffalo say to his son when he went off to college?
-bye son (bison).
What do you call a fox with a carrot in each ear?
-anything you want, he can’t hear you.
Have you heard the skunk joke?
-you don’t want to, it stinks.
What is better than a talking owl?
-a spelling bee.
What do you call a wet bear?
-a drizzly bear.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a leaf blower?
-a hare dryer.
Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
-beause they were their belt buckle on their hats!
How did they send the turkey through the mail?
Who was not hungry on Thanksgiving?
-the turkey, because it is already stuffed.
Who was the drummer in the Thanksgiving band?
-the turkey because he had a drumstick.
What kind of key is not good for opening doors?