One of the joys of joys of getting prayer requests each week is that sometimes I get to pray for y’all’s senses of humor… Some of the jokes that are on the backs of the communication cards are, well, bad. Others of them are pretty good! I carry these jokes around in my pocket because I can’t think of something better to do with them.

I thought it was rude of me to not share these jokes with everyone else, so here is a list of the jokes from the back of the communication cards from 2018! (I hope you enjoy!)

What drink makes you go “OUCH”?
-Punch.

What did the carrot hope for on its vacation?
– peas and quiet.

What allergy makes horses sneeze?
-hay fever.

Why did the tree travel to its hometown?
-it was looking for its roots.

Why did the forgetful chicken cross the road?
-to get to the other side -er no- to go shopping -no, not that either- I forgot.

Why did the calf cross the road?
-to get to the udder side.

Why did the gum cross the road?
-Because it was stuck on the bottom of your shoe.

Why did the ants dance of a jam jar?
-it said on the lid, “twist to open.”

What is the best thing about Switzerland?
-i don’t know, but its flag is a big plus!

Once a dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving behind little messages.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
-he just needed a little space.

What did Noah use of the Ark to help him see at night?
-flood-lights

How did the cold spread?
-it flu.

What do trees use to take notes in school?
-loose leads

Why did the cow stay home with a cold?
-she was milking it for all its worth.

What’s a nose’s favorite color?
-blew

What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
-a rocket chip!

Why did the student eat his homework?
-his teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
-R2 detour

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
-because he felt crummy.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
-no idea. (No eye deer.)

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
-still no idea.

Why did the chef get in trouble?
-he got caught beating the eggs and whipping the cream.

How much did the pirate pay for his hook and peg keg?
-an arm and a leg.

How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
-a buccaneer.

What did the dad buffalo say to his son when he went off to college?
-bye son (bison).

What do you call a fox with a carrot in each ear?
-anything you want, he can’t hear you.

Have you heard the skunk joke?
-you don’t want to, it stinks.

What is better than a talking owl?
-a spelling bee.

What do you call a wet bear?
-a drizzly bear.

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a leaf blower?
-a hare dryer.

Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
-beause they were their belt buckle on their hats!

How did they send the turkey through the mail?
-bird class

Who was not hungry on Thanksgiving?
-the turkey, because it is already stuffed.

Who was the drummer in the Thanksgiving band?
-the turkey because he had a drumstick.

What kind of key is not good for opening doors?
-A turkey